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Friday, December 7, 2012

Estrogernia

The characters in this short story are totally fictional and have no relation with anyone living or dead or half living or half dead, or black people.



Once upon a time. Three friends from Delhi, India, decide to go on a photowalk. A photowalk is basically an activity done by wannabe photographers with newly bought DSLRs to act artsy fartsy in front of people, and click pictures in public places. They later on upload these pictures on their photography pages. Sometimes it's done by actual photographers as well. 

They soon get into a stand still in their decision making process, as they couldn't think of a place to go shoot. 
One of them (Lets name him Rudy) called Rudy, searches the internet, and find this abandoned railway station. The article about the place states, that there was an accident there, a few years ago, and thousands of people died in that accident. People believed that the place is now haunted by spirits and ghosts of the dead people. Whoever went to that place, never returned, and even their bodies weren't found. Because whoever went there to find the bodies also never returned. The three friends imagine to grow a pair, and decide to go to that place to click photos and then upload them, as a sign of their bravery, so that it helps them get laid. 

That weekend, early in the morning, Rudy, Gav and Arya (the three friends) leave their homes and head to the railway station. They click there for sometime, when Gav with his monkey-like instincts jumps into a container. He finds something mysterious and calls Rudy and Arya. Rudy breaks his camera while jumping because he's clumsy as shit! Arya with some help from Gav gets in as well, but manages to save his camera from any damage. Gav didn't have a camera because he .... isn't into photography. 

What seemed to be a pile or burnt coal, with glitter on top of it, turned out to be magic gateway stones. 

Zoooom! shazaaaam!

Gav, Arya and Rudy, suddenly find themselves in a new place all together....
A new.. world! Just like Narnia!! They wander into the world and are greeted with lots of women. They soon find out, that they are destined to be Kings of Estrogernia! Exactly like Narnia! 

Estrogernia, is a magical place, in a parallel universe, where only women exist. There were mermaids, and women with wings! Flying fuck was an actual thing!! 
The men, gave their lives in fighting the demon Gods for freedom of their world. With their dead soul, the good Gods of Estrogernia, formed a white river. If any woman wanted to give birth, just had to swim in the holy White River. And everytime a woman gave birth in Estrogernia, it was always a woman. Because the Gods believed that men were the reason for war and men were destroyers, and also they were smarter than the gods so god decided to never make men. 

When the three friends, sat on the Throne, as Kings of Estrogernia, nothing could've been better. When the women found out, that there were only three men in the whole of Estrogernia, and they were none other than the Kings, Rudy, Arya and Gav, they seeked knowledge about the long told myth of Sexual Intercourse. 

Women came everyday to the three friends in their chambers, and seeked for knowledge. The three generous friends, gave them firsthand experience. Basically they got laid everyday, with different women....everyday. 

Estrogernia was happy. Sex, suddenly made everything in Estrogernia better. The three friends were living the dream. They had luxury, power, wealth and women. Even the women in Estrogernia were happy as fuck! Literally. Because of all the sex. 

For years, everything was perfect! 
Until....

Oneday... a REALLY hot chick came to the Kings' Palace in search for "knowledge".
She presented herself in front of the Three Kings.  Gav enquired her name. She said, "My name is Rea Lyhot, sire". The three kinds looked at each other and said "You don't say!". Rea Lyhot then said "I come here to seek your expertise in the art of Sexual Intercourse"

The three kings, go back to discuss as to who will be the one to "educate" her. Basically fuck her. 

The selfish argument, soon turned into a fist fight. Gav said he wanted her. Arya said he wanted her. Rudy said he wanted her. So Arya punched Rudy because of past history. Rudy punched Gav because Arya was tall. Gav punched Arya just because he could. The fight wasn't willing to stop. They kept coming at each other. Even with intestines hanging out of their ripped out stomachs, and kidneys punctured and spilling bloody urine everywhere, they still fought. They fought till their last breath, because their ribs cracked and crushed their lungs inside their body, and the alveoli was coming out of their nostrils to absorb oxygen. Their skulls were cracked and blood was pouring out of their heads and covered their faces red. Their brains were hiding somewhere behind the hair, until they tore each others hair out! The blood loss covered the room's white marble flooring. Everything was red. It was like a beautiful painting done by a broke artists, who could only afford to buy a bottle of red paint. They all died together that day. And gods of Estrogernia realised.. That it wasn't the men who brought wars. It was the women. The women drove men to the edge of humanity! and then pushed them down! ....

Rea Lyhot, was sad that day, as she didn't get any action. Depressed, she went wandering into the forest, where she came across something that looked like coal with sparkles on it. 
Zooooooom! Shazaaaaam!

The magical gateway stones brought her to Delhi, India! 

She explored the place and she was so happy!! So many men!! (because it's India) 
She thought that asking for sex would be difficult, but Rea Lyhot was every man's dream!

She asked for sex and got it! Because its easier for women to hook up anyway. 
She was getting it, and she was really happy about it! 

Rea Lyhot, loved it here, and never wanted to go back!

She lived happily ever after. Until she suffered from HIV-AIDS and died a horribly painful death. Lots of men came to bury her.

THE END
____________________________________________


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3 comments:

  1. Best post ever.
    No really, BEST FUCKING BLOG POST EVVVVAH! EVVVAAAAAH!
    If I could give you an award or something (and I mean National, not those silly little Blogger Awards), I would.

    ReplyDelete
  2. THIS was brilliant! Like asdfghjkl!!!

    Also, I had awarded you a long time ago but due to some technical glitch I couldn't comment and let you know. I finally fixed it! So congratulations!
    Sorry but you'll have to do with a silly blog award for now :P

    You can check it out here: http://diwita.blogspot.in/2013/03/award-time-d.html

    ReplyDelete
  3. HAHA. You certainly a....err two points there :p :)

    ReplyDelete